or. personality characteristics that cause trouble. part 2. (part 1 can be found here.)

Yesterday I mentioned I’m a rule follower. I also have this overwhelming need for justice.

This comes in very handy when you or someone you love has been wronged and you have the tools to set it right.

This sense of justice means that I’ll do everything in my power to stick up for the child who was born with HIV.  He has HIV because of someone’s mistake or ignorance, but not his own, and he shouldn’t have to deal with the stigma.

It means I’ll research trafficking and write blog posts about it to raise awareness of the growing problem and probably take it personally when someone tells me that they don’t agree that trafficking is an issue and that most prostitutes choose that life and get what they deserve.

It means, in J’s terms, I “go all Mama Bear” on people when I feel like their words are unkind or disrespectful or rude and I can say something about it. (this pertains mainly to my siblings and their friends and how they treat each other or anyone else in the family).

It means that adrenaline kicks in and I run out of the house in Uganda, armed with nothing more than words, because an intruder is in our courtyard in the middle of the night, and he should know better than to mess with me or mine.

But let’s face it, the opportunities I have to mete out justice or even see justice done are few and far between.

I sit there feeling like my hands are tied, wishing I could do something to change the situation, especially when it’s a friend or a family member who is dealing with injustice done to them.  Those are the situations I hate the most.

Most of the time I’m forced to remember that God is in control and he sees the injustice and He will continue to work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  Most of the time, at least when the perceived injustice is directed towards me, He also reminds me that the crux of my issue is that my reputation is at stake and that really I just want to be understood.  It all boils down to my pride.

Occasionally, God encourages me with a glimpse of the bigger picture.  This week I was surprised by a conversation with someone who I thought hated me and what I stood for.  He could not have been more complimentary or respectful and I walked away from it marveling at how God works.

In talking to Mandie about this conversation, she reminded me of a verse that was one of our themes for the year in Uganda from Exodus 14:14: “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Over and over again he saved our kids from death and opened doors for their adoption that seemed impossible, and He continually reminded us that those things were His doing and not ours.

Once again, He’s shown me that He works on my behalf, changing the hearts of people, without my involvement at all.  And then, on top of that, He is gracious enough to give me a glimpse.

This sense of justice can be used for good when I see the world through Christ’s eyes. He had compassion for the people as he looked out over the masses. I just need to be careful not to be God and try to mete out justice on my own.

moral of the story: get out of God’s way. (except, of course, when you have a chance to share that HIV is no longer considered one of those crazy dangerous communicable diseases that you can get from a toilet seat, because you can’t.)