When you make those vows at the altar, I think you mean that you won’t divorce and that you’ll remain faithful in mind, heart, and soul till you die. But really, what you want it to mean, is that until death you won’t be physically parted. At least, that’s what I want it to mean.
Just shy of eight months into marriage, J and I have gone back to the long distance relationship that we were used to while we were dating. I really am thankful we were accustomed to Skype before we got married, because we’ve learned how to communicate even when the connection is bad and we can’t see each other’s face. But still, it’s different now that we’re married.
I’m trying not to count the days right now, but as J said in our last conversation, “it’s not a good idea, but we’re all doing it here. I don’t think you can avoid it.” So, 11 days down, 354-ish to go.
Today I was proud of myself…I made it all the way to five pm with a good attitude and a light heart. Then I sat down to fold my clean laundry, and had to fold all of J’s clothes that he wore right before he left. They don’t smell like him anymore because they’re clean. And then I cried.
I have a lot for which to be thankful. Technology is amazing, and though the internet may be terrible, most days I get to talk, or at least chat, with my love before he goes to bed. I’m living with my family and there’s so much going on, I’m distracted. I have three weddings and a shower to attend and other friends to visit, all in the next two months. Because the deployment is a year, J will be home for two weeks when baby boy is born. And most importantly, Jesus is my rock and my refuge, and always with me.
So as much as I want to curl into a ball and just have a pity party, I’m reminded to “rejoice in the Lord always” and that my “light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” And I’m reminded to pray for the Army wives who don’t know Jesus and have husbands deployed, and the single moms who do it on their own every single day, and frankly, all of those who haven’t met Jesus and face trials.